Due to lack of internet connectivity in my current living situation, it has been almost a full month since my last update. I have thought often about what I would write when this time came around, but am still unclear where I want this post to go.
Lately I have been reminding myself often, maybe even several times a day, that I have only been practicing Buddhism since mid-March. That prior to returning from India, I had no idea what the Four Noble Tryuths or Eightfold Path even were, let alone trying to internalize them and live them daily.
Since moving and starting this new job, I have had a variety successes and failures "using" the Buddhist path. I feel like I fail at least as often as I succeed.
Well, after all it IS called "practice".
How can I possibly expect myself to be perfect, especially after such a short time?
My main issues the past few weeks have been threefold:
1) living in a dorm w/150 people aged 18-85 from about 7 different (and diverse) countries
2) working day in day out w/those people in an atmosphere of "catty" gossip
3) my terrible chemical (probably hormonal) imbalances which sometimes ruin up to 14 days of each month
These three points have caused me to lose my mind in anger and frustration numerous times, recently. I have participated in gossiping, have had way too many malicious thoughts (never the intent of causing physical harm, but wishing bad things at others who hurt me), have shouted in anger, etc.
But I think I have hurt myself more than anyone else. And I genuinely feel bad about all of it.
It is just such an ingrained pattern, such a knee-jerk reaction. Especially the PMS-induced parts!
I have been doing a lot of practices aimed at purifying negative karma.
Just the past day or so, I have been able to calm my mind enough to think clearly about it for the first time in a few weeks.
I have gone back to simply saying the mantra which got me through most of my experience in India:
"It is what it is. It just IS. Accept. Allow. Let go. Breathe."
In this case, it sometimes goes like "____(person) is a (insert suitable negative term)" or "gossip just is a reality at work"... I don't like it. I am not required to like it. But I also need to remember, IN THAT MOMENT, there is nothing else, that I cannot change it by wishing or being angry.
I have been able to feel like a human being again.
Of course, the PMS portion of the show is over again for about the next 14 days...so we shall see how mcuh progress has actually been made once 17 June or so rolls around.
I am currently reading a variety of online articles by various Tibetan Buddhist teachers including HH the 14th Dalai Lama regarding how to deal with negative emotions and developing compassion.
At times I feel like I have achieved the mind of bodhicitta...even if it only lasts for a few minutes.
Of course, there's a whole new story! More often than not, when I say I truly wish happiness and peace for ALL beings, it means that I wish them all to learn and practice Buddhism so that there are no more conflicts for me to cope with!
Ego alert!
I am pretty sure this signifies a character flaw in myself, the wish for a better experience in my current life within samsara...
Karma is confusing to me. The idea that my current bad experiences are the result of negative karma created in the past, possibly even numerous lifetimes ago. It doesn't seem quite right.
And as I plow through all this confusion, I am determined to persevere. There have been moments when I at least felt like I absolutely "got it" and really aspired to become a bodhisattva, so I know that somewhere within me the potential remains, and that I must continue the journey...
Showing posts with label Dalai Lama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dalai Lama. Show all posts
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Important Links Following TIBET Earthquake
I feel very small and helpless these days in the wake of the Kham TIBET earthquake. I feel like I should be doing more to help, but in my own situation, all I can do is offer prayers and keep as many people as possible informed of what's happening by passing along relevant links.
Once again, my friend at Zen Dirt Zen Dust has compiled information on places offering assistance to earthquake victims. You can see his list here:
How to Aid Victims of the Tibetan Earthquake
I am trying to post links to all stories of merit on my twitter and facebook accounts.
The most important ones today are:
Dalai Lama seeks China's Permission to Visit Earthquake Victims
Message from HH Karmapa Ogyen Trinley Dorje to Quake Victims in both Tibetan and English
Newsweek Article on Quake's Coverage in China
and
To Die With Dignity in Your Own Land an amazing piece on Huffington Post regarding the quake and its aftermath.
Updated to add:
Images of Quake Aftermath Some of the most moving, detailed images I've come across regarding this incident.
Meanwhile, life must go on. I am in the midst of packing, wrapping up my time "off", and will be moving cross-country yet again this coming Tuesday for the seasonal job which will hopefully cover most of my expenses for my next trip (currently slated for early September) to volunteer with the Tibetan exile community in McleodGanj, where my heart lies.
I plan to post a new entry regarding my travels along the Buddhist path once I am settled in my new "home".
As always, my thoughts and prayers are with the Tibetans and all those working on their behalf.
May all beings be happy and at peace.
_/\_
The following video is from Al Jazeera English language. The monks' names have been Sinocized, but it offers a view of what is going on in Kham.
Once again, my friend at Zen Dirt Zen Dust has compiled information on places offering assistance to earthquake victims. You can see his list here:
How to Aid Victims of the Tibetan Earthquake
I am trying to post links to all stories of merit on my twitter and facebook accounts.
The most important ones today are:
Dalai Lama seeks China's Permission to Visit Earthquake Victims
Message from HH Karmapa Ogyen Trinley Dorje to Quake Victims in both Tibetan and English
Newsweek Article on Quake's Coverage in China
and
To Die With Dignity in Your Own Land an amazing piece on Huffington Post regarding the quake and its aftermath.
Updated to add:
Images of Quake Aftermath Some of the most moving, detailed images I've come across regarding this incident.
Meanwhile, life must go on. I am in the midst of packing, wrapping up my time "off", and will be moving cross-country yet again this coming Tuesday for the seasonal job which will hopefully cover most of my expenses for my next trip (currently slated for early September) to volunteer with the Tibetan exile community in McleodGanj, where my heart lies.
I plan to post a new entry regarding my travels along the Buddhist path once I am settled in my new "home".
As always, my thoughts and prayers are with the Tibetans and all those working on their behalf.
May all beings be happy and at peace.
_/\_
The following video is from Al Jazeera English language. The monks' names have been Sinocized, but it offers a view of what is going on in Kham.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Major Earthquake in Kham, Tibet
Please hold the people of Tibet and their families, no matter where they are, in your hearts and prayers at this time.
A 6.9 magnitude earthquake struck Jiegu, Kyigudo (Yushu Co. or Prefecture in Chinese) in Kham Province Wednesday morning local time in Tibet.
At this time, official sources are saying there are 400 dead and 10,000 injured but unofficial local sources are saying numbers are much higher.
It is notoriously difficult to get accurate information out of Tibetan areas from Chinese state controlled media.
I wanted to offer a list of links for info for those who are interested or who need it. Here are the latest articles on major news sources and relevant agencies for Tibetans. (the color may not change but these ARE links)
CNN coverage
BBC coverage
Times of India newspaper coverage
Phayul
Office of HH Dalai Lama
Zen Dirt Zen Dust blog compilation of articles
Tibet Net Official Website of Tibet's Govt in Exile
For those who have asked, all my friends live in exile in north India and were not directly affected, thankfully. However, I do have many acquaintances from Kham, and am not in touch with them to know whether their families were affected, so of course we hold ALL of Tibet and all Tibetans throughout the world in our thoughts, hearts, and prayers.
_/\_
A 6.9 magnitude earthquake struck Jiegu, Kyigudo (Yushu Co. or Prefecture in Chinese) in Kham Province Wednesday morning local time in Tibet.
At this time, official sources are saying there are 400 dead and 10,000 injured but unofficial local sources are saying numbers are much higher.
It is notoriously difficult to get accurate information out of Tibetan areas from Chinese state controlled media.
I wanted to offer a list of links for info for those who are interested or who need it. Here are the latest articles on major news sources and relevant agencies for Tibetans. (the color may not change but these ARE links)
CNN coverage
BBC coverage
Times of India newspaper coverage
Phayul
Office of HH Dalai Lama
Zen Dirt Zen Dust blog compilation of articles
Tibet Net Official Website of Tibet's Govt in Exile
For those who have asked, all my friends live in exile in north India and were not directly affected, thankfully. However, I do have many acquaintances from Kham, and am not in touch with them to know whether their families were affected, so of course we hold ALL of Tibet and all Tibetans throughout the world in our thoughts, hearts, and prayers.
_/\_
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Bodhicitta and Beyond
This is going to be one of my most difficult posts yet...to write, at any rate.
[note: this post is intended mostly for my non-Buddhist readers who wonder what exactly is going on with me right now, and who are not familiar with what Buddhism teaches. I am not intending to "convert" anyone, just shed some light.]
Most of you know I haven't been a Buddhist that long, technically speaking. In fact, I am a newcomer to it since my recent exposure to Tibetan culture, and as per my previous post am only just beginning an actual study and practice of Buddhism.
However, even before taking refuge I already had Buddhist tendencies/leanings, I guess you could say.
The things which bother me (and have since my teens) most about Christianity (my own upbringing) are:
1) Lack of accountability for your own actions (it never ceased to amaze me that many who claim to be Christians really believe you can sin and simply say a prayer,likely half-hearted, and that makes whatever you did ok- at least in your own mind). Buddhists seem to me to tend to examine karma more closely...at least serious ones who are truly interested in a higher rebirth. I am actually more likely to behave properly, morally, as a Buddhist than I ever did when I was a Christian.
2) Seeing so many Christians NOT follow the teachings of Christ (which I guess ties in with the above). I hated listening to talk of converting heathens. I hated seeing politicians use Christian doctrine. I hated knowing that over the past 2000 odd years that more people have been slaughtered in the name of Christ than I care to think about. I saw that the church was not Christ and was shocked that no one else in my otherwise fairly intelligent immediate circle seemed to catch on to that, too. I lost friends when I tried to explain to them that Islam also teaches non-violence and that there are as many Christian radicals as Muslim terrorists.
Then I read today's post at Sweep the Dust, Push the Dirt, a blog by a Zen Buddhist online acquaintance, which actually prompted me to write this post.
So, as it IS related (ie the above complaints would be less of an issue provided everyone knew about the items below), I wanted to talk about bodhicitta...metta...and beyond. I honestly believe everyone can, and should, follow these guidelines, because the teachings are not at all limited to Buddhism (well, except bodhicitta).
Bodhicitta: the wish to attain enlightenment so as to reincarnate repeatedly to help all other sentient beings attain enlightenment. (hey look! a wiki on How to Cultivate Bodhicitta!)
Of course I cannot claim to have total bodhicitta motivation. I'm not sure anyone can. We are not perfect. Every now and again ( we think of our own needs, our own comforts, in this life.
But I DO strongly wish for peace, and for permanent world peace to happen, all sentient beings must become enlightened.
So I endeavor to remind myself repeatedly and to practice...
Metta: loving-kindness...a pure selfless compassion for all other beings as based on the notion that, via eons of reincarnations, all other beings have at one time been our mothers (some say think "mothers, friends, lovers"). Meaning, we act kindly towards anything living (even insects) because we know we are intimately connected. Everything has its place and purpose. Harming any other beings is harmful to ourselves, to humankind as a whole, and to the planet.
Metta also involves Right Speech and Right Action, which fall under the Buddhist Precepts (or moral code of conduct, if you will).
Right Speech means that we are honest. We do not lie. But it goes far beyond that. It also means that we do not speak out of anger or with the intent of hurting any other living being. We do not gossip or talk about anyone behind his back. And we avoid "idle talk" about useless topics (and yes, these are really hard to follow, because if taken literally it would mean we pretty much shouldn't say anything at all...which is a recommended part of it, according to Buddha Sakyamuni).
Right Action means we do not intentionally kill (another person, animal, or insect). We do not intentionally cause injury or suffering to any other sentient being. We do not steal...interpreted as meaning never to take anything not freely given to you. We avoid sexual misconduct (and this is open to a wide range of interpretations which I won't go into in detail) mostly meaning not to cause any harm by our sexual deeds (ie no rape, no extramarital affairs, no sex with minors, no suggestive behavior w/monks or nuns...you get the idea)
There are many places on the web to read much more about these concepts. I started with About Buddhism and followed links until I was satisfied!
I am really far from perfect. I eat meat. I have to try really REALLY hard not to kill ant colonies in my kitchen...no matter how hard I try, I can't envision them as my mother and do not feel loving-kindness for them! I get upset when I am attacked...but fortunately I am increasingly less likely to respond out of anger these days!
I hope I don't come across as preachy.
I have to remind myself through my own words on the subject that I need to think about these topics and try harder every day!
Wanna learn more about Bodhicitta?! (see left)
I also highly recommend reading any and all works by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.
[note: this post is intended mostly for my non-Buddhist readers who wonder what exactly is going on with me right now, and who are not familiar with what Buddhism teaches. I am not intending to "convert" anyone, just shed some light.]
Most of you know I haven't been a Buddhist that long, technically speaking. In fact, I am a newcomer to it since my recent exposure to Tibetan culture, and as per my previous post am only just beginning an actual study and practice of Buddhism.
However, even before taking refuge I already had Buddhist tendencies/leanings, I guess you could say.
The things which bother me (and have since my teens) most about Christianity (my own upbringing) are:
1) Lack of accountability for your own actions (it never ceased to amaze me that many who claim to be Christians really believe you can sin and simply say a prayer,likely half-hearted, and that makes whatever you did ok- at least in your own mind). Buddhists seem to me to tend to examine karma more closely...at least serious ones who are truly interested in a higher rebirth. I am actually more likely to behave properly, morally, as a Buddhist than I ever did when I was a Christian.
2) Seeing so many Christians NOT follow the teachings of Christ (which I guess ties in with the above). I hated listening to talk of converting heathens. I hated seeing politicians use Christian doctrine. I hated knowing that over the past 2000 odd years that more people have been slaughtered in the name of Christ than I care to think about. I saw that the church was not Christ and was shocked that no one else in my otherwise fairly intelligent immediate circle seemed to catch on to that, too. I lost friends when I tried to explain to them that Islam also teaches non-violence and that there are as many Christian radicals as Muslim terrorists.
Then I read today's post at Sweep the Dust, Push the Dirt, a blog by a Zen Buddhist online acquaintance, which actually prompted me to write this post.
So, as it IS related (ie the above complaints would be less of an issue provided everyone knew about the items below), I wanted to talk about bodhicitta...metta...and beyond. I honestly believe everyone can, and should, follow these guidelines, because the teachings are not at all limited to Buddhism (well, except bodhicitta).
Bodhicitta: the wish to attain enlightenment so as to reincarnate repeatedly to help all other sentient beings attain enlightenment. (hey look! a wiki on How to Cultivate Bodhicitta!)
Of course I cannot claim to have total bodhicitta motivation. I'm not sure anyone can. We are not perfect. Every now and again ( we think of our own needs, our own comforts, in this life.
But I DO strongly wish for peace, and for permanent world peace to happen, all sentient beings must become enlightened.
So I endeavor to remind myself repeatedly and to practice...
Metta: loving-kindness...a pure selfless compassion for all other beings as based on the notion that, via eons of reincarnations, all other beings have at one time been our mothers (some say think "mothers, friends, lovers"). Meaning, we act kindly towards anything living (even insects) because we know we are intimately connected. Everything has its place and purpose. Harming any other beings is harmful to ourselves, to humankind as a whole, and to the planet.
Metta also involves Right Speech and Right Action, which fall under the Buddhist Precepts (or moral code of conduct, if you will).
Right Speech means that we are honest. We do not lie. But it goes far beyond that. It also means that we do not speak out of anger or with the intent of hurting any other living being. We do not gossip or talk about anyone behind his back. And we avoid "idle talk" about useless topics (and yes, these are really hard to follow, because if taken literally it would mean we pretty much shouldn't say anything at all...which is a recommended part of it, according to Buddha Sakyamuni).
Right Action means we do not intentionally kill (another person, animal, or insect). We do not intentionally cause injury or suffering to any other sentient being. We do not steal...interpreted as meaning never to take anything not freely given to you. We avoid sexual misconduct (and this is open to a wide range of interpretations which I won't go into in detail) mostly meaning not to cause any harm by our sexual deeds (ie no rape, no extramarital affairs, no sex with minors, no suggestive behavior w/monks or nuns...you get the idea)
There are many places on the web to read much more about these concepts. I started with About Buddhism and followed links until I was satisfied!
I am really far from perfect. I eat meat. I have to try really REALLY hard not to kill ant colonies in my kitchen...no matter how hard I try, I can't envision them as my mother and do not feel loving-kindness for them! I get upset when I am attacked...but fortunately I am increasingly less likely to respond out of anger these days!
I hope I don't come across as preachy.
I have to remind myself through my own words on the subject that I need to think about these topics and try harder every day!
Wanna learn more about Bodhicitta?! (see left)
I also highly recommend reading any and all works by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Observations, a February compilation
(the following is another compilation, this time culled from journal entires made between 12-24 February 2010)
The Tibetan cook at Moonpeak Thali is catching large black flies from inside the restaurant and releasing them out from the balcony. Kindness to all beings… Lovely. True spirit of McleodGanj.
I am shocked when the Indian guy who minds the host/cashier/desk, with whom I have been chatting amiably my past few visits, speaks to Tashi in Tibetan…and I chime in with a Tibetan comment of my own.
What a masala! We are American, Hindi, Tibetan…all of us speaking in a strange mix of the three languages…
I am trying, perhaps a little too hard, to get down my thoughts on what it is like to be here. Why? I feel like there is some danger of losing it when I leave.
Maybe I really feel afraid I will lose myself (again) when I leave, afraid I will lose the beauty of what has awoken inside me.
I am not the same woman who came here in the end of November (not even three full months ago?)
Strange how easily and casually strangers from western countries become companions, here. Something to do with comfort zones, common language, or safety in numbers, no doubt.
Just when you think you are going to be alone, abandoned, someone unexpected “rescues” you! YAY and thankfulness for that.
This life is so strange. I have called so many places HOME and yet I have never been at home…not since I was about 12 years old.
I have lost everything…but mostly I have lost myself. I have no idea who I am. I keep looking for me in weird places. I have looked in England, Scotland, Ireland, France…I have looked in India and in this Tibetan refugee community. I have found pieces of myself everywhere, but the whole is still missing…Who am I?
I am still lost and confused.
It’s a very funny thing. I always talk about how much I am going to miss people, even places. But the truth is, what I really miss is myself.
I lost myself when I was so young.
I moved so often, surrounded by so many new people and experiences, that I never really developed an identity.
I think I am a poet, a writer, a gardener, a cat lover who loves to color. I think I am a home maker who enjoys cooking and decorating and doing the laundry.
But I live so far away from myself…running here, running there, like the world might end, like there is never enough time. I always “have to” see another set of ruins or learn another language before it is too late.
I will run around in circles until I come back to my center and can breathe, again.
I am simply lost and lonely and searching for grace. I long for a second chance at innocence. I want forgiveness and salvation and I want to be chosen and I want to GET IN.
I am always afraid of god, always afraid of going to hell. Christian hell, Buddhist hell. All hell‘s terrify me. Deep inside, I feel like an eternal sinner. I have done things which I must account for. I have been accounting for them for years. Perhaps I will be accounting for them forever.
“I believe in you“, all my friends have told me this week, as I express a multitude of fears. Why do they have such faith in me when I cannot?
Things are changing. And change is good. But change is also frightening because I do not know what lies on the other side. I know McleodGanj. I know my way around, I know all the places I want to go, I know so many people here, I know what to say in Tibetan and Hindi in enough situations that I do not feel like a foreigner.
But I do not know what will happen next. I do not know who (myself included) will say or do what between now and Monday evening. So I cling to routines…to familiar places. I walk slowly through the shortcut listening to the morning sounds from the monastery, watching young monks play karom~pa. I ignore Indian beggars and slap donkeys and cows on the rear to get them out of my path.
The world is full of joy and secrets this first week of spring. Perhaps the fact that it is spring is making it all the harder to leave. Mostly what I’m working on is getting through the day. Hour by hour, I get through each day, and each day slides away, bringing me closer and closer to Friday Pizza Night, to my Saturday farewell party, to my wait at the bus station on Monday evening…
Something incredible is building up inside me. I am afraid I may have to climb to Triund and HOWL down the mountainside all night to release it.
Maybe it is the old parts of me dying that are making these sounds.
His Holiness returns from America today and there are special ceremonies continuing at the Main Temple, across the street from the cafe where I post these entries.
I wish the young staff at One Two would turn OFF the obnoxious modern dance music they are playing this morning and let the sound of the monks' chanting resonate through the morning air...
The Tibetan cook at Moonpeak Thali is catching large black flies from inside the restaurant and releasing them out from the balcony. Kindness to all beings… Lovely. True spirit of McleodGanj.
I am shocked when the Indian guy who minds the host/cashier/desk, with whom I have been chatting amiably my past few visits, speaks to Tashi in Tibetan…and I chime in with a Tibetan comment of my own.
What a masala! We are American, Hindi, Tibetan…all of us speaking in a strange mix of the three languages…
I am trying, perhaps a little too hard, to get down my thoughts on what it is like to be here. Why? I feel like there is some danger of losing it when I leave.
Maybe I really feel afraid I will lose myself (again) when I leave, afraid I will lose the beauty of what has awoken inside me.
I am not the same woman who came here in the end of November (not even three full months ago?)
Strange how easily and casually strangers from western countries become companions, here. Something to do with comfort zones, common language, or safety in numbers, no doubt.
Just when you think you are going to be alone, abandoned, someone unexpected “rescues” you! YAY and thankfulness for that.
This life is so strange. I have called so many places HOME and yet I have never been at home…not since I was about 12 years old.
I have lost everything…but mostly I have lost myself. I have no idea who I am. I keep looking for me in weird places. I have looked in England, Scotland, Ireland, France…I have looked in India and in this Tibetan refugee community. I have found pieces of myself everywhere, but the whole is still missing…Who am I?
I am still lost and confused.
It’s a very funny thing. I always talk about how much I am going to miss people, even places. But the truth is, what I really miss is myself.
I lost myself when I was so young.
I moved so often, surrounded by so many new people and experiences, that I never really developed an identity.
I think I am a poet, a writer, a gardener, a cat lover who loves to color. I think I am a home maker who enjoys cooking and decorating and doing the laundry.
But I live so far away from myself…running here, running there, like the world might end, like there is never enough time. I always “have to” see another set of ruins or learn another language before it is too late.
I will run around in circles until I come back to my center and can breathe, again.
I am simply lost and lonely and searching for grace. I long for a second chance at innocence. I want forgiveness and salvation and I want to be chosen and I want to GET IN.
I am always afraid of god, always afraid of going to hell. Christian hell, Buddhist hell. All hell‘s terrify me. Deep inside, I feel like an eternal sinner. I have done things which I must account for. I have been accounting for them for years. Perhaps I will be accounting for them forever.
“I believe in you“, all my friends have told me this week, as I express a multitude of fears. Why do they have such faith in me when I cannot?
Things are changing. And change is good. But change is also frightening because I do not know what lies on the other side. I know McleodGanj. I know my way around, I know all the places I want to go, I know so many people here, I know what to say in Tibetan and Hindi in enough situations that I do not feel like a foreigner.
But I do not know what will happen next. I do not know who (myself included) will say or do what between now and Monday evening. So I cling to routines…to familiar places. I walk slowly through the shortcut listening to the morning sounds from the monastery, watching young monks play karom~pa. I ignore Indian beggars and slap donkeys and cows on the rear to get them out of my path.
The world is full of joy and secrets this first week of spring. Perhaps the fact that it is spring is making it all the harder to leave. Mostly what I’m working on is getting through the day. Hour by hour, I get through each day, and each day slides away, bringing me closer and closer to Friday Pizza Night, to my Saturday farewell party, to my wait at the bus station on Monday evening…
Something incredible is building up inside me. I am afraid I may have to climb to Triund and HOWL down the mountainside all night to release it.
Maybe it is the old parts of me dying that are making these sounds.
His Holiness returns from America today and there are special ceremonies continuing at the Main Temple, across the street from the cafe where I post these entries.
I wish the young staff at One Two would turn OFF the obnoxious modern dance music they are playing this morning and let the sound of the monks' chanting resonate through the morning air...
Monday, February 1, 2010
Said, Unsaid, Unsayable...
I must apologize that I have not been diligent in keeping up this blog. Sometimes the day to day motions of living distract me from what I am really trying to and want to say about my experience, here. Or perhaps writing it all in my journals has kept me from saying it here...
It is hard to get my mind around all that is happening here...all that is said, all that goes unsaid, all that is unsayable...and even more difficult to explain to anyone who is not here with me.
How can I describe what it is like, to be teaching English to Tibetan refugees and monks? That you have to learn to think in entirely new ways because words fail, and because sometimes concepts do not even exist in one another's cultures? I learn as much, and probably more, from them every single day.
Sometimes the most ridiculous things get said. I am collecting quotes...priceless unexpected deep and often plain silly interactions. It's like watching a group of pre-schoolers who have found a new toy or learned a new way of expressing themselves.
Sometimes hilarious misunderstandings result. It is hard to explain "slang" or "figure of speech". But we have all agreed to make silly mistakes together (and trust me, my mistakes re: speaking Tibetan and doing culturally acceptable behavior are much more embarassing than theirs!). When we say something wrong, we gently correct one another. And so we learn, and so we grow.
There is so much I want to say TO them...how their joy and courage and determination continually astound me. But because of lack of words in Tibetan, it goes unsaid.
Some things go unsaid because I am afraid...afraid to alienate the people who have come to mean the most to me.
There is much that is unsayable...whether because there are no equivilent words/concepts or because it would not be appropriate, given that I am a foreigner.
When I question my purpose here, I have to remind myself of my student who says that without me, he would not have words to express what he has wanted to say to western travelers for 15 years.
"I have only one wing", he says, and flaps his arm awkwardly. "But when my English becomes good I will have two wings, and then I will fly!" (I know he is paraphrasing something the Dalai Lama says but it is so touching, so clearly on his mind).
It is amazing to me, because I am not an English teacher. I do not even remember the correct names for all the parts of grammar, for heavens sake!
But every day, I show up, even when I feel like I just cannot do this anymore.
I show up because I love them, in the most simple meaning of the words. I want to hug them the same way I hugged my pre-schoolers when I was a teacher's aide.
I learn every day from their amazing insights, am constantly amazed by their playfulness and joy. I feel a glow when I am in their presence...something that I lost from my western life when I was about 12 years old...
Some days I feel isolated, left out. I am still a foreigner, after all. I still cannot hope to comprehend their ways of interacting and expressing themselves in their own language and culture, what is ok and what is not.
I often miss the modern amenities of life in America, but I know that when I leave here I will cry for the loss of
the beautiful connectedness I have found with these radiant beings.
It is hard to get my mind around all that is happening here...all that is said, all that goes unsaid, all that is unsayable...and even more difficult to explain to anyone who is not here with me.
How can I describe what it is like, to be teaching English to Tibetan refugees and monks? That you have to learn to think in entirely new ways because words fail, and because sometimes concepts do not even exist in one another's cultures? I learn as much, and probably more, from them every single day.
Sometimes the most ridiculous things get said. I am collecting quotes...priceless unexpected deep and often plain silly interactions. It's like watching a group of pre-schoolers who have found a new toy or learned a new way of expressing themselves.
Sometimes hilarious misunderstandings result. It is hard to explain "slang" or "figure of speech". But we have all agreed to make silly mistakes together (and trust me, my mistakes re: speaking Tibetan and doing culturally acceptable behavior are much more embarassing than theirs!). When we say something wrong, we gently correct one another. And so we learn, and so we grow.
There is so much I want to say TO them...how their joy and courage and determination continually astound me. But because of lack of words in Tibetan, it goes unsaid.
Some things go unsaid because I am afraid...afraid to alienate the people who have come to mean the most to me.
There is much that is unsayable...whether because there are no equivilent words/concepts or because it would not be appropriate, given that I am a foreigner.
When I question my purpose here, I have to remind myself of my student who says that without me, he would not have words to express what he has wanted to say to western travelers for 15 years.
"I have only one wing", he says, and flaps his arm awkwardly. "But when my English becomes good I will have two wings, and then I will fly!" (I know he is paraphrasing something the Dalai Lama says but it is so touching, so clearly on his mind).
It is amazing to me, because I am not an English teacher. I do not even remember the correct names for all the parts of grammar, for heavens sake!
But every day, I show up, even when I feel like I just cannot do this anymore.
I show up because I love them, in the most simple meaning of the words. I want to hug them the same way I hugged my pre-schoolers when I was a teacher's aide.
I learn every day from their amazing insights, am constantly amazed by their playfulness and joy. I feel a glow when I am in their presence...something that I lost from my western life when I was about 12 years old...
Some days I feel isolated, left out. I am still a foreigner, after all. I still cannot hope to comprehend their ways of interacting and expressing themselves in their own language and culture, what is ok and what is not.
I often miss the modern amenities of life in America, but I know that when I leave here I will cry for the loss of
the beautiful connectedness I have found with these radiant beings.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The Face of Holiness
Woke this morning at 6:50am and decided almost immediately, after last night's uncertainty, that it was important to attend the Long Life Ceremony for HH the 14th Dalai Lama.
By 7:10am I was en route to the main temple...the following is what I wrote by hand while sitting and watching. (I am going to type it as it appears in my notes, replete with expressive capitalizations)
Seated upstairs at the main temple, again not exactly sure what to expect. I'm enjoying watching an elderly Tibetan monk seated on the ground nearby trying to convey something to some westerners in animated gestures.
Sometimes language is unnecessary.
You don't look at clothing here, so much. You look at faces. At motions.
The constant chanting of mantras passes into my core. A strange soft warmth fills me.
For a moment, I understand EVERYTHING.
These people are not here for me to "love" in western terms. They are here for me to LOVE, purely, unconditionally.
They are my GURUS!
The energy is pure life force...although until today I just had no other way to interpret it except as "sexual". An invisible thread is pulling bodies to sway in unison.
I know HH is near when I see a monk pour his tea...I know it is his tea because the mug is set next to his "dias", I have seen this ritual before.
Then the horns, the cymbals...crowd rising to its feet, hands steepled.
HH arrives, passes into the temple sanctum, takes his seat as attendees bow.
Indian military with machine guns stroll the perimeter as the pocha and sweet rice servce begn.
I don't so much hear the chants anymore as feel them straight through my ribcage and lower abdomen.
HH is seated on a dias just out of my line of vision. Every now and then I catch a glimpse of his hands, the hat on his head as he leans forward, his red-robed knee.
Monk robes hold great appeal for me, aesthetically. Draped, sweeping, graceful, elegant...they lend an air of mystery; they are mystical...like the creatures under them are ethereal, something "more than". Transcendent.
After the prayer ceremony and offerings and blessings, the guards shift the crowd to make a path for HH and the other dignitaries. High Lamas with their conch shell horns herald the passage of HH.
To my shock and delight, HH stops about 3 feet in front of me to talk to some girls holding "Free Tibet" signs. He is so close I could literally touch his arm without stretching! I hear his natural, unaided voice ask them "What country?" and thank them for their support.
The Tibetan man beside me and I look at one another simultaneously, both absolutely beaming at our shared good fortune. A few feet further on he paused again to accept some Buddha and Hanuman statuettes being offered by a local inchi hippie guy. HH looks amused at the Hanuman, turning it over in his hands, even playing with its movable tail like a child delightedly examining a new toy.
Precious.
Priceless.
Totally unpretentious.
This IS where I need to be.
This is the answer to everything.
By 7:10am I was en route to the main temple...the following is what I wrote by hand while sitting and watching. (I am going to type it as it appears in my notes, replete with expressive capitalizations)
Seated upstairs at the main temple, again not exactly sure what to expect. I'm enjoying watching an elderly Tibetan monk seated on the ground nearby trying to convey something to some westerners in animated gestures.
Sometimes language is unnecessary.
You don't look at clothing here, so much. You look at faces. At motions.
The constant chanting of mantras passes into my core. A strange soft warmth fills me.
For a moment, I understand EVERYTHING.
These people are not here for me to "love" in western terms. They are here for me to LOVE, purely, unconditionally.
They are my GURUS!
The energy is pure life force...although until today I just had no other way to interpret it except as "sexual". An invisible thread is pulling bodies to sway in unison.
I know HH is near when I see a monk pour his tea...I know it is his tea because the mug is set next to his "dias", I have seen this ritual before.
Then the horns, the cymbals...crowd rising to its feet, hands steepled.
HH arrives, passes into the temple sanctum, takes his seat as attendees bow.
Indian military with machine guns stroll the perimeter as the pocha and sweet rice servce begn.
I don't so much hear the chants anymore as feel them straight through my ribcage and lower abdomen.
HH is seated on a dias just out of my line of vision. Every now and then I catch a glimpse of his hands, the hat on his head as he leans forward, his red-robed knee.
Monk robes hold great appeal for me, aesthetically. Draped, sweeping, graceful, elegant...they lend an air of mystery; they are mystical...like the creatures under them are ethereal, something "more than". Transcendent.
After the prayer ceremony and offerings and blessings, the guards shift the crowd to make a path for HH and the other dignitaries. High Lamas with their conch shell horns herald the passage of HH.
To my shock and delight, HH stops about 3 feet in front of me to talk to some girls holding "Free Tibet" signs. He is so close I could literally touch his arm without stretching! I hear his natural, unaided voice ask them "What country?" and thank them for their support.
The Tibetan man beside me and I look at one another simultaneously, both absolutely beaming at our shared good fortune. A few feet further on he paused again to accept some Buddha and Hanuman statuettes being offered by a local inchi hippie guy. HH looks amused at the Hanuman, turning it over in his hands, even playing with its movable tail like a child delightedly examining a new toy.
Precious.
Priceless.
Totally unpretentious.
This IS where I need to be.
This is the answer to everything.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Only Constant is Change
I am not a Buddhist. I only know the most basic teachings of Buddhist philosophy. I live in a community which is predominantly Tibetan Buddhist, here in north India, headed, as per the previous post, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama.
Sometimes I see Buddhist philosophy working in miraculous ways, here. More often than not, I am surprised by all the ways even the monks/nuns seem NOT to adhere to Buddhist teachings and yet...overall, probably the only reason this community hasn't crumbled is because of Buddhism.
I don't know. I feel like musing, this afternoon.
The more I learn, the less I know.
All the complexities of human interaction are present, even when dealing with monks. Probably even more so because our vastly different cultures make MEANINGS unclear even when words and actions seem to indicate one thing...One thing, my acquaintance Caroline says, viewed by my American glasses.
She described it this way:
Imagine 3 people seated around a table. One is American. Let's say the American wears blue glasses.
One is Swedish, the Swede is wearing red glasses. One is Tibetan. The Tibetan wears green glasses.
On the table is an apple. Each of the people is asked what they see on the table.
The American sees a blue apple, the Swede sees a red apple, the Tibetan sees a green apple.
It is only the same in its most basic form.
Now imagine applying this analogy to EMOTIONS and abstract concepts which do not even exist in one another's cultures!
You see my dilemma. OUR dilemma.
Girls are much more intimate with other girl friends, both emotionally and physically. The same with boys. Men walk around openly holding hands, rubbing each other's arms or legs, sitting side by side with arms around each other's shoulders. To the western eye it often looks like their is a lot of homosexual behavior...and yet, it is the exact opposite. They (mostly) shun homosexuality, but there are very few opposite sex friendly interactions.
Which makes having any kind of romantic (as a westerner would perceive romance) relationship with a member of the opposite sex equally complicated.
Do not get me wrong. I am very fortunate to have a GOOD man as my partner. I care about him deeply and I know he cares about me.
The interior FEELINGS are the same. They are just perceived, interpreted and expressed in vastly different ways.
Even explaining the idea of interacting with your love partner as an intellectual and emotional equal (or even as an intellectual or emotional ENTITY) is proving extremely difficult.
It seems like the only people who understand "romance" are Buddhist monks and nuns! They are just so fun to be around, so free, so expressive, across the board with all fellow humans.
And, of course, as monks, they can only "romance" by innocent "play" flirting.
Maybe the burden is meant to be on me, for a change...in learning to let go of my preconceived notions of what a romantic relationship "should" be.
Is it possible that I've had the wrong idea about what "love" SHOULD mean all along?
And if so, how do I change and put the focus elsewhere?
There are days when I would love for a sudden bolt of lightning to make all of us understand one another. There are days when I feel there are glimmers of hope, when a teeny shift in the fabric of the universe makes it look like a break-through is about to happen.
There are days of utter confusion and frustration, too...when I wonder if true understanding is possible.
It's like beating on a door louder and louder, non-stop, not even knowing if there is anyone home, but having to be determined to continue even if no one ever answers!
Success can never happen without repeated attempts, and there are never any guarantees!
Every day, something changes. Sometimes it feels like progress, even if tiny progress. Sometimes it seems like we are sliding in the wrong direction.
As so often happens with me, the struggle is beginning to define my life.
The past week has delivered so many changes (hence the title of this post).
My daily schedule changed first because my usual internet cafe closed for construction. Blissfully that resulted in me having a new favorite hangout.
Then I changed my pattern of where I was going and who with because of communication issues, plus several of my "long" term acquaintances (fellow foreign volunteers working in McleodGanj) left town.
Now I am on the verge of taking on a new teaching project...a group of 4-5 close associates who want to practice English conversation.
I should also focus on feeding my creative passions, as well. I need to do more daily photography uploads and work on my paintings.
Life is good. Don't get me wrong.
I am blessed in so many ways, right now. The people I am surrounded by are touching my life in ways I never imagined possible. I love them ALL more than you'd think possible for someone you've only known a few weeks. I do not love all of them in EXACTLY the same ways...but I love them all with the same level of intensity, if that makes any kind of sense.
These are ultimately GOOD (kind, compassionate,open, friendly,funny,intelligent) HUMAN beings.
We are all doing the best we can.
THAT is sacred. This is truly a sacred experience for me, although I cannot exactly say it is a "sojourn".
Sometimes I see Buddhist philosophy working in miraculous ways, here. More often than not, I am surprised by all the ways even the monks/nuns seem NOT to adhere to Buddhist teachings and yet...overall, probably the only reason this community hasn't crumbled is because of Buddhism.
I don't know. I feel like musing, this afternoon.
The more I learn, the less I know.
All the complexities of human interaction are present, even when dealing with monks. Probably even more so because our vastly different cultures make MEANINGS unclear even when words and actions seem to indicate one thing...One thing, my acquaintance Caroline says, viewed by my American glasses.
She described it this way:
Imagine 3 people seated around a table. One is American. Let's say the American wears blue glasses.
One is Swedish, the Swede is wearing red glasses. One is Tibetan. The Tibetan wears green glasses.
On the table is an apple. Each of the people is asked what they see on the table.
The American sees a blue apple, the Swede sees a red apple, the Tibetan sees a green apple.
It is only the same in its most basic form.
Now imagine applying this analogy to EMOTIONS and abstract concepts which do not even exist in one another's cultures!
You see my dilemma. OUR dilemma.
Girls are much more intimate with other girl friends, both emotionally and physically. The same with boys. Men walk around openly holding hands, rubbing each other's arms or legs, sitting side by side with arms around each other's shoulders. To the western eye it often looks like their is a lot of homosexual behavior...and yet, it is the exact opposite. They (mostly) shun homosexuality, but there are very few opposite sex friendly interactions.
Which makes having any kind of romantic (as a westerner would perceive romance) relationship with a member of the opposite sex equally complicated.
Do not get me wrong. I am very fortunate to have a GOOD man as my partner. I care about him deeply and I know he cares about me.
The interior FEELINGS are the same. They are just perceived, interpreted and expressed in vastly different ways.
Even explaining the idea of interacting with your love partner as an intellectual and emotional equal (or even as an intellectual or emotional ENTITY) is proving extremely difficult.
It seems like the only people who understand "romance" are Buddhist monks and nuns! They are just so fun to be around, so free, so expressive, across the board with all fellow humans.
And, of course, as monks, they can only "romance" by innocent "play" flirting.
Maybe the burden is meant to be on me, for a change...in learning to let go of my preconceived notions of what a romantic relationship "should" be.
Is it possible that I've had the wrong idea about what "love" SHOULD mean all along?
And if so, how do I change and put the focus elsewhere?
There are days when I would love for a sudden bolt of lightning to make all of us understand one another. There are days when I feel there are glimmers of hope, when a teeny shift in the fabric of the universe makes it look like a break-through is about to happen.
There are days of utter confusion and frustration, too...when I wonder if true understanding is possible.
It's like beating on a door louder and louder, non-stop, not even knowing if there is anyone home, but having to be determined to continue even if no one ever answers!
Success can never happen without repeated attempts, and there are never any guarantees!
Every day, something changes. Sometimes it feels like progress, even if tiny progress. Sometimes it seems like we are sliding in the wrong direction.
As so often happens with me, the struggle is beginning to define my life.
The past week has delivered so many changes (hence the title of this post).
My daily schedule changed first because my usual internet cafe closed for construction. Blissfully that resulted in me having a new favorite hangout.
Then I changed my pattern of where I was going and who with because of communication issues, plus several of my "long" term acquaintances (fellow foreign volunteers working in McleodGanj) left town.
Now I am on the verge of taking on a new teaching project...a group of 4-5 close associates who want to practice English conversation.
I should also focus on feeding my creative passions, as well. I need to do more daily photography uploads and work on my paintings.
Life is good. Don't get me wrong.
I am blessed in so many ways, right now. The people I am surrounded by are touching my life in ways I never imagined possible. I love them ALL more than you'd think possible for someone you've only known a few weeks. I do not love all of them in EXACTLY the same ways...but I love them all with the same level of intensity, if that makes any kind of sense.
These are ultimately GOOD (kind, compassionate,open, friendly,funny,intelligent) HUMAN beings.
We are all doing the best we can.
THAT is sacred. This is truly a sacred experience for me, although I cannot exactly say it is a "sojourn".
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Most Sacred Experience of My Life to Date
Today was an incredible day for me. Before 8am I was seated on a thin green mat on the ground along with hundreds of other people, waiting for the main event, a Long Life Ceremony attended by HH the 14th Dalai Lama in honor of the 20th Year Anniversary of the Death of the Panchen Lama, a Tibetan hero rumored to have been murdered by the Chinese at the age of 50 in 1989.
The event had not been publicized, like so much here in McleodGanj, and news flowed through word-of-mouth between friends and associates. Rumors varied from 7am to 9am start and no one knew exactly what would happen or how long it would last.
At 7:45am I flowed down Temple Road towards HH Main Temple in a river of red-robed monks and nuns from various local monasteries. At the temple everyone was thoroughly searched. I was sesnt back outside to leave my forbidden camera in the care of a popular WiFi cafe then returned to be re-searched before going inside to find a seat as close as possible to the gold-cloth draped dias. Several other "inchi" people (foreigners/westerners) were seated in the same area and we all chatted pleasantly.
Upstairs near the main shrines, chanting resounded from speakers. A long line of well-wishers bearing orange and red cloth wrapped boxes draped with white khato scarves files slowly up the stairs. A Quebecois seated near me who is studying Buddhism said they were objects such as texts, mandalas, and other items to be blessed.
Styrofoam cups were passed to the crowd by young monks, then pocha (traditional Tibetan butter tea) was served. Giant vessels of steamed sweet rice were ladled out into bare hands, paper sheets, and any number of other containers the crowd could find. Of all the Tibetans I have met locally, I saw only a few familiar faces.
The chanting continued, mildly hypnotic, as the line continued slow progress up the stairs. Late comers continued to press into the temple. My friend Mary arrives and joins us, but no sign of Sonam or any of our usual monk compatriots.
By 9:10am I am feeling slightly restless, full of anticipation. The blessing line has slowed to a snail's pace and no one around me is sure what to expect or when it might happen.
Two gilded statues of Buddhas or avatars are rushed down the stairs. Suddenly things begin moving very quickly, in a see of rushing color. Much of the crowd has taken up the chanting.
And then the soft voice of His Holiness comes through the speakers...
It doesn't matter what he is saying, in my eyes. His infectious laughter punctuates the speech. The whole crowd is smiling, leaning forward to hear his words.
A song begins, and a woman begins to descend the temple stairs backwards, sweeping each one.
At this moment, it occurs to me I am about to be in the presence of quite possibly one of the greatest humans ever to walk the earth. A great human soul, a great spiritual leader, a leader of a people striving to regain hope and freedom. A truly amazing man.
Geshes distribute money to monks and nuns, and other monks toss fruits, breads, biscuits, cakes, and sweets, reportedly gifts from Tashi Lumpo (the Panchen Lama monastery). We are all laughing and passing around food to friends and strangers alike regardless of nationality, truly a "breaking bread" experience.
Khatas are being passed through the crowd and draped over railings. One passes through my hands, and I feel as though I am presenting this gift to HH personally. A group of monks scurries down the steps.
At times it seems like a lot of nothing is going on, although I know the continuing chants have deep meaning to those who understand them. Every now and then someone in the audience picks up the melody. The chants are deep, resonant, and really penetrate your body and soul.
Atop the temple, Snow Lion flags are stirring.
The chanting stops, and low cymbals fade til there is only the murmuring of the crowd.
Things are about to happen. Everyone is standing up, peering at the stairs, where a lot of lamas and government officials are coming down to the podium.
With a fan fare of horns, High Lamas wearing yellow head-dresses descend the steps holding a type of decorative sceptre.
Then, suddenly, a giant golden fabric unbrella with orange and turquoise trim appears.
His Holiness himself, wrapped in orange robes over his red monk garb.
He moves quickly, and appears surprisingly small, although he is not a short or physically small person at all. I think his humbleness is deceiving. I really expected him to look larger than life.
He DOES look serene, super kind, and like he is just one of the people...
He takes the Golden Dias and cleans his large round spectacles with the hem of his robe.
We listen to Tibetan speeches commemorating the Panchen Lama by high lamas, government officials and other prominent figures in the community as more pocha and sweet rice were served. It's hard to pay attention for very long when you don't understand the language.
Every few minutes I find my gaze returning to His Holiness.
It is a powerful moment for me when I realize that, entirely unpremeditadely, he and I are swaying in unison to some invisible inaudible stimulus.
At last, HH rises, gently tapping the microphone as if unsure of its effectiveness, although he has addressed modern audiences around the world for the past several decades.
His voice is quiet, hard to focus on, even, I expect, for the Tibetans in attendance.
A Quebec native studying Tibetan language is seated next to me and translates in short form the contents.
HH tells a story of searching for the Panchen Lama reincarnation, of time spent with him in person. He talks at length about the state of the Tibetan plight/cause, the fact that the world loves Tibetans for their realness, their lack of pretention, their honesty, and that they need to preserve these qualities. He tells the locals to remain strong and focused on the drive for freedom and human rights, and not to let their culture die.
Suddenly the golden gilded umbrella re-opens and His Holiness seemingly glides past the crowd, many (myself included) with hands folded in prayer. He views a photo and art exhibit about the Panchen Lama, and emerges again after about ten minutes.
A fan fare of horns sounds again. HH and the yellow head-dressed High Lamas hustle down the centre corridor through a crowd of surging fans, passing within maybe twenty feet of me, and I rush forward with the others trying to get a better glimpse.
And then, behind the audience, he disappears on the pathway leading down toward his residence, leaving a sea of humanity surging towards the exits.
It is impossible to stand still and absorb the atmosphere. People are pushing and hurrying all around me.
All I can do is talk to every other westerner I pass about the glory of the experience and hope I get the chance to see him in person again.
He is 75, after all, and although he appears strong and capable, many whisper that they fear he may not live much longer.
Long Life to Hh the Dalai Lama, and success for the Tibetan cause.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Open Letter to President Obama and Sec of State Clinton
I urge ALL U.S. citizens as well as citizens of other western countries
to copy and re-post this letter which I sent via email to the
White House as well as the U.S. State Department this morning.
In addition, I encourage you to add your signature as a form of
petition and send it on to your local, state and national governments,
as well as local and national news media outlets.
I request that when you do, you leave a comment here telling me
when and where you directed it!
Thank you.
regarding the human rights crisis with the Chinese occupation of Tibet. I arrived in McleodGanj, India, home of the Dalai Lama and the exiled
Tibetan government, at the end of November 2009 planning to stay one
month. Within days I started volunteering with a non-profit that offers free
English conversation, grammar and computer classes to refugees. By the end of my first week, I knew I had found my calling. I am now
residing here until mid-March, with plans to return later in 2010 for
an even longer period. Every day my new Tibetan friends, whom I consider family, tell me
stories of their suffering in China. Some were denied religious freedom,
others imprisoned for speaking out against China. Some were beaten
daily, tortured brutally for as long as fifteen years at the hands of the Chinese. Every one of them, as well as myself, is deeply disappointed at the failure
of the United States, UN and other western nations to take a stronger
stand on their behalf. Mr. President, I urge you to meet ASAP with H.H. the Dalai Lama. I urge you
to come meet the Tibetan refugees in person, to listen to their stories and see
how they struggle daily to survive while they wait in the hopes that one day
they will be able to reclaim their homeland. Tibetan culture has so much to teach the western world. I can promise you,
once you spend time with these wonderful beings, your life will never be the
same. I am appalled that US policy regarding this situation is based solely on trade
numbers with China. China exploits Tibet in the most horrible ways. Many
so-called Chinese products are made by forced labor in Tibet by Tibetans. My Tibetan students have asked me to convey one more message to you,
one they agree on strongly. Mr. President, Tibet is NOT part of China. China seized control of Tibet in
1959 by FORCE. They, and I, are deeply hurt at your statement to the contrary. I beg you, please reconsider your stance on Tibet. If you consider it our
responsibility to be in Iraq, or Afghanistan, then how can you NOT
consider it our responsibility to support and offer aide to Tibet? Please, earn your Nobel Peace Prize. Work for peace and a free Tibet! Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely, Ms. Tammy Winand US Citizen on behalf of the Tibetan refugee community in McleodGanj, India and the thousands of oppressed Tibetans unable to escape the Chinese occupation
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
McLeodGanj...Peace in the Himalayas
After a nightmarish 18 hour journey from Jaipur to Dharamsala via
Delhi, including an over-sized drunk male seatmate who passed out
on me for a few hours overnite after Chandigarh, I arrived, tired but
in decent spirits, to lower Dharamsala at 8am.
A brother and sister couple, Mumbai born but he residing in Texas
with a very US accent, helped me get on a local bus to McLeodGanj
(upper D'shala).
After another brief unpleasant encounter with a cheating guesthouse
proprietor, I got a fellow named Sergei from St Petersburg Russia to
help me carry my bags back up a steep stair to the main street and
found myself a new home at Mount View Guesthouse on Jogibara Road.
I rested about an hour, took a hot shower, and set out to explore my
new environment.
McLeodGanj (pronounced Mik-Klee-owed-Ganj), is best known as the
home of HH the 14th Dalai Lama, affectionately known locally as Kundun
(literally, "presence"...and you can truly feel his presence here), and the
seat of the exiled Tibetan government.
The place is full of red robed Buddhist monks and nuns, often, incongruously,
talking on mobile phones.
People here actually SMILE, and most of the local shops were very low
pressure, totally unlike those I visited in Rajasthan.
I encountered a few beggars, but even they were not over-bearing like the
ones in Rajasthan (who would crawl and claw at car windows at stop lights).
From my hotel room, I can see Triund Peak in the Dhauludar Range of the
Himalayas, plus three other snow capped peaks. It is technically the foothills,
but totally impressive, nonetheless, and I still cannot believe I am here.
The chest cough and sinus infection which plagued me the past month is
almost totally gone, though in the morning I still have a cough until after
my hot shower.
Since arriving, I have started smiling again, sometimes maybe too much.
I like to start the day by turning the prayer wheels at the stupa in the middle
of town, after having tea on the rooftop terrace at my guesthouse.
I have begun reading a daily inspirational guide by the Dalai Lama, as well as
his short introduction to Buddhism text, purchased at the Tibet Museum
bookshop.
I have visited the main temple once, but it is confusing as I know nothing
about the dieties depicted there or the appropriate protocol.
There is amazing shopping here for traditional prayer box pendants (ghau),
prayer wheels, clothing at very reasonable costs, and so much more.
Feeling bolder by the minute, I had my hair cut by a local barber. He did a
great job for only 50 INR about $1 USD), but I had to repeatedly refuse his
offers of a head and shoulder massage!
In the evening, I met a guy who has been voluntering at L.I.T,
Learning and Ideas for Tibet, and he took me to their offices, where I met
Lauren and Mary, western volunteer coordinators.
After a short discussion, Lauren recruited me to come to the weekly Tuesday
Tibetans Talk, where refugees and former political prisoners tell their stories
with an international audience, to take notes and begin writing articles for the
organization's website.
I am also considering an introductory Tibetan language class and also basic
Tibetan cooking (momos!)
fyi Tibetan food is really yummy!
This MAY be my life purpose!
woo HOO
This morning, tired of being stared at and perceived as a young blond, I dyed
my hair back to its natural dark brown color.
I will now let the grey grow out naturally and stop denying my age.
I think this will also gain me greater respect here. Older women are treated
with much more respect than solo young western ladies.
I am now at my new favorite hangout, MoonPeak cafe, a WiFi cafe on Temple
Road, and have finished my pot of lemongrass herbal tea.
Dharamsala is feeling like home. I have random repeated thoughts of
staying on indefinitely, returning annually.
I will be here until at least the end of January, barring any more unforseen
negative experiences.
I will read and write here and walk in nature and do my best to make some small
difference in my own life and that of others (as HH the Dalai Lama advises).
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